The Napoleon In Peril Affair
by Kei
Summary: Solo is in the hands of the enemy with no chance of escape.


Fandom: Man From UNCLE  
  
Title: "The Napoleon in Peril Affair" a.k.a. "Illya's Revenge"  
  
Author: Kei  
  
Pairing: N/A  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: nah!  
  
Archive: sure (but why you'd want to, I don't know)  
  
Disclaimer: Man From UNCLE and its characters belong to MGM who refuse to give them up (the rotters).  
  
  
  
  
"THE NAPOLEON IN PERIL AFFAIR"   
  
a.k.a. "ILLYA'S REVENGE"  
  
by Kei  
  
  
  
It had to happen.  
  
He had been warned about the arrogance that sometimes comes with one successful mission after another.  
  
He had been warned about depending on "Solo's Luck"...  
  
...because the fact of the matter was that his luck had to eventually run out.  
  
And it had.  
  
Napoleon Solo had been caught with his metaphorical pants down and now, there was a price to pay -he was in the hands of the enemy.  
  
UNCLE's top agent surveyed his surroundings with a sneer that hid his fear and revulsion. The room was white, sterile, and cold, lined with shelf upon shelf of noxious-smelling chemicals and racks full of sharp, lethal-looking instrumentation that would reduce the strongest man to a whimpering child when wielded by a master in the art of pain. Solo shuddered in spite of himself as one, then two figures in white entered his prison, glancing his way and then nodding with malign approval.  
  
He didn't have much time left, but even though escape was his goal, the injection that one of the white-coated jailers had slipped him earlier rendered his muscles weak and his CO-ordination unsure -he had to struggle to keep his eyes focused as his head-jailer suddenly loomed before him, eyes (and probably mouth) smiling behind the mask that hid his identity. "So...Mr. Solo...we finally have you where we want you. You shouldn't have struggled against the inevitable -it will only make your pain all the greater."  
  
"You..." Napoleon struggled against the strange thickness of his tongue, the difficulty he was having in forming even the simplest of words. "You...  
won't get away...with this. My...my partner..."  
  
"Your 'partner'?" came the reply with an evil chuckle. "That would be Illya Kuryakin. Let me guess -you are expecting him to come riding to your rescue, are you not? Don't bother, Mr. Solo. Your partner is the one who told us where you were."  
  
"I don't...I don't believe you."  
  
"*Believe* it, Mr. Solo. Once we explained *why* you *had* to be here and how long you had been avoiding our company, Mr. Kuryakin was quite amenable to making sure you...*kept* your little appointment with fate." The head jailer signaled to his assistant who immediately took her place at Napoleon's side, opposite to her malevolent master. In her gloved hand was a gas mask attached by a hose to a machine of alien design. Solo's jailer offered a sadistic chuckle. "Breathe deep, Mr. Solo. Breathe deep."  
  
After the mask was pressed to his face...after he could hold his breath no longer, UNCLE's C.E.A. felt the noxious fumes pass his nostrils and enter his lungs...and then, he felt and knew nothing at all.  
  
********************  
  
"Excuse me -Mr. Kuryakin?"  
  
Illya Kuryakin looked up at the sound of the familiar voice and set down the magazine he had been reading. "Doctor?"  
  
"The surgery went successfully and just in time -had Mr. Solo delayed any longer, those impacted molars of his would have become severely abscessed...and then, we would have to have performed the procedure in a hospital."  
  
"I see," the Russian UNCLE agent murmured thoughtfully. "Will I be able to take him home?"  
  
"After the anesthetic has worn off, and if you promise he won't be alone. Mr. Solo will be a trifle woozy for the remainder of the day."  
  
"Of course, Doctor."  
  
"Mr. Kuryakin..?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I know your partner doesn't like dentists, but please try to make sure that he keeps his follow-up appointment -the first time. It does him no good to have to chase him around like this."  
  
A slight grin turned the Russian's lips. "It will be my pleasure."  
  
  
--fini--  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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